How/Where can I get a chimpanzee in East TN?

I would like to get a chimpanzee for Christmas, but I don't know where I could get one. I live in Kingston, TN, so I would like some ideas of where to get a chimpanzee near there. Thanks, in advance, for your help! Have a very merry Christmas!!|||AMAZON.COM!!!! LOL I CRACK MYSELF UP!!! GET IT AMAZON LOL!!!!|||u dont want a monkey. idk if u have really thought this through, but i am betting u didnt considering u still want one. monkey like as long as humans, so be sure to keep in mind that u will be tking care of this living creature for the rest of your life, meaning commitment. Also, monkeys act like a 3 year old child for their entire life. And people think that taking care of a baby for a few years is tough! Monkeys are not ment to like in a house, and u definitely dont want one living in yours. They need space, and should be left alone. If you are thinking of helping a sick or injured monkey if u like primates that much, search online. I no that people temporarily take care of them so they can be reintroduced into their natural habitat. Otherwise neither of u will b happy. PLease consider this :) thanks!|||Cruel.|||You could probably buy Micheal Jackson's. I hear he needs some cash.|||EBAY!!!! lmaooo or just go take one from the zoo